Not quite a week late, I finally got to watch the season 3 finale of “Enterprise” tonight. Okay, that was fweakin’ weird. The last five minutes of that show certainly left things in a completely unexpected way.<\/p>\n
Now there are rumors out there that Brannon Braga, writer of a few great Trek episodes and a boatload of average ones and a rather large handful of crappy ones, may be taking a back seat for season 4. Which suits a lot of the Trek faithful just fine. Taking a more active role will be one Manny Coto, who has penned a good number of quality Enterprise episodes this season, so things may be on the rise.<\/p>\n
Still, there’s that bizarre season 3 ending, and poor Manny’s left holding the bag. Well don’t fret Mr. Coto, I’ve got Season 4, Episode 1, Act 1 all sketched out:<\/p>\n
T’Pol<\/b>: Primitive Earth airplanes? Are you positive?<\/p>\n
Trip<\/b>: Shuttlepod’s got the bullet holes to match. What the hell’s going on?<\/p>\n
T’Pol<\/b>: Ensign Mayweather, scan for any remaining anomalies, particularly temporal in nature.<\/p>\n
Mayweather<\/b>: I’m detecting one off the starboard bow. But it doesn’t look related to the spheres.<\/p>\n
T’Pol<\/b> (looking in her little scanner thingy): It’s increasing in size and approaching the ship.<\/p>\n
Admiral William T. Riker<\/b>: SHIELDS UP! RED ALERT!<\/p>\n
Trip<\/b>: Who the hell are you?<\/p>\n
Daniels<\/b>: My apologies. I think I can explain… If you’ll just give me a moment.<\/p>\n
[Daniels fiddles with the PADD he’s holding. Riker disppears, and is replaced by a Gorn.]<\/p>\n
Gorn<\/b>: Arrrrr!<\/p>\n
Daniels<\/b>: No, that’s not it either. Hold on.<\/p>\n
[The Gorn disappears, and is replaced by Archer, who is wearing a flowery Hawaiian shirt and holding a coconut containing some enjoyable beverage and a little paper umbrella]<\/p>\n
Archer<\/b>: Aw, Daniels, I was just starting to feel relaxed.<\/p>\n
Trip<\/b>: Will someone PLEASE tell me what the hell is going on?<\/p>\n
Daniels<\/b>: My apologies everyone. As soon as the Xindi sphere exploded, I managed to remove Captain Archer from the timeline. I figured he needed a vacation, so I sent him to Tahiti for a week.<\/p>\n
Archer<\/b>: Sort of.<\/p>\n
[Daniels stabs at the buttons on his PADD]<\/p>\n
Daniels<\/b>: Unfortunately this THING isn’t working very well, and he went on a few… detours. As, I understand, have all of you. Anyway, everything’s back to normal now. I think. Well, I must be going. Captain, you probably won’t see me again. It’s been nice working with you.<\/p>\n
T’Pol<\/b>: What about the “Temporal Cold War?”<\/p>\n
Daniels<\/b>: Oh, that little thing? We fixed that all up last week. I thought I mentioned it.<\/p>\n
Archer<\/b>: No, but I’m glad to hear it. Now if you don’t mind, we’d like to go home now.<\/p>\n
Daniels<\/b>: You got it. [Disappears]<\/p>\n
Hoshi<\/b>: We’re being hailed by Starfleet!<\/p>\n
Archer<\/b>: On screen.<\/p>\n
Admiral Forest<\/b>: Congratulations to all of you. I have new orders for Enterprise. She is to dock at the shipyards for a complete overhaul while her crew relaxes on Earth.<\/p>\n
Trip<\/b>: About damn time!<\/p>\n
Admiral Forest<\/b>: But don’t relax too much. Once the Enterprise is back to 100 percent, we’re sending you to the Tellarite homeworld. It seems they’re having some difficulty with the Romulans.<\/p>\n
Lt. Commander Worf<\/b>: Romulans. They are without<\/i> honor!<\/p>\n
[commercial break]<\/p>\n
Manny, twenty bucks and it’s all yours.<\/p>\n
[update 10\/25\/2005: Nearly a year and a half later, and I just came up with the final line to this script. Had to come back and add it in.]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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